


Step Back

by raiykei



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, based on that one woosanhwa vlive from forever ago, soff bois and softer cuddles, this is so self indulgent, worried seonghwa and tired hongjoong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29922087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raiykei/pseuds/raiykei
Summary: It's hard not to worry over Kim Hongjoong and his weird balance of work and rest, especially when he calls in the middle of a vlive.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 11
Kudos: 125





	Step Back

**Author's Note:**

> Titles and summaries always elude me. Anyway, here's this self indulgent fic based on that one woosanhwa vlive from forever ago. This has been sitting in my docs for months waiting to be finished, so here we go!

Hongjoong got caught up in his work a little too easily.

It was something Seonghwa had noticed not long after joining KQ and meeting the other trainees there. It was something that he had thought might get better over time, maybe after they debuted, when their schedules became ten times more busy and taking care of themselves became more than necessary. If anything, it only got worse, the pressure suddenly weighing heavier than it did before, the few hours Hongjoong could manage to pull together to hole away in his studio suddenly more precious.

Some might have called it dedication, speaking on how focused Hongjoong could become, how he worked endlessly to improve himself, to become someone that could take pride in his work. Some might have called it something close to obsession, seeing the bags that took up permanent residence under his eyes, the way music and work seemed to be the only things that ever crossed his mind, Ateez and Atiny always on the tip of his tongue.

Seonghwa called it stubbornness, knowing too well how often Hongjoong's late nights were because of a particularly stubborn track, lyrics and choreography he couldn't get just right, or finding himself in too good of a spot to quit, riding the motivation until it was suddenly eight in the morning and they had to begin their schedule for the day, surviving on short naps and coffee that did little to offer any actual relief.

Hongjoong wasn't someone to brush off their concerns, which was the only reason Seonghwa didn't nag nearly as much as he could have. Their leader took their comments as seriously as any of them did, genuine in his promises when he made them, trusting them as much as they trusted him. It was a delicate balance, but one they all worked to maintain. They looked out for one another, they leaned on one another, they kept each other in check. As well as a bunch of young twenty-somethings _could_ keep each other in check. It worked for them, and that's what mattered.

Which was why he tried not to let the phone call linger on the forefront of his mind. 

He failed, miserably, his concern clear as day on his face if San and Wooyoung were shoving him from the room not long after they finished recording, promising him they would clean up the mess, so would he _please_ go check on Hongjoong already and stop thinking so loud?

Seonghwa would have smacked them both for being the brats they were if it weren't for the teasing that covered their own thinly veiled concern.

He only hesitated once he reached Hongjoong's studio, hand raised to knock, teeth digging into his lower lip. Seonghwa quickly gathered his courage, barely getting two knocks on the door before his hand was on the handle, shouldering his way inside. "Hongjoong?" 

The only light cast around the room was from the monitors, casting an eerie glow off of what little sat around the room, the colored lights Hongjoong normally used to set the mood for his evenings dimmed until they were barely noticeable. No sounds played from the speakers, and no movement came from the lump hunched over the desk, the hood of Hongjoong's sweatshirt pulled over his head and face buried in his arms. To anyone who didn't know Hongjoong it might have looked as if he were asleep at his desk, too caught up in the moment to take the time to return to the dorms or move himself somewhere more comfortable.

Seonghwa knew better, though, especially with the phone call hanging in the back of his mind. He closed the distance between them, a hand sliding across the back of Hongjoong's shoulders to gain his attention. There was no doubt in his mind that Hongjoong had heard him knock, heard him enter the room, but it wasn't exactly uncommon, either, to have to snap him out of his own mind with a gentle touch.

"Hey," the eldest started, not finding the energy to force a smile when his concern crawled its way up his throat and threatened to choke him. "Are you alright?"

Hongjoong slowly uncurled himself from where he sat, scrubbing at his face with his hands. "Yeah." His voice was rough, exhaustion dragging at the few words he chose to speak, almost managing to sound worse in person than over the phone. "Sorry for interrupting your live."

"It's fine." He continued to run his hand across Hongjoong's shoulders, only stopping to massage at the back of his neck, watching the way Hongjoong's eyes closed and he arched into the touch. Seonghwa didn't hesitate to work his fingers into the muscle, pulling a pleased hum from the other. "Wooyoung and San shooed me out before I could help clean." He didn't expect much of an answer, nor did he get one, Hongjoong only offering a small hum to show he had heard.

"You need to sleep, Hongjoong."

"I do sleep."

"More than a nap or the handful of hours you get here instead of the dorm."

"I'm fine. I just need some coffee and something to eat-"

"You can't keep loading yourself up on sugar and caffeine."

Hongjoong twisted in his seat, Seonghwa's hand dropping from the back of his neck, fitting him with a sideeye as a blade of irritation sliced through his words and into Seonghwa. "Did you come here to help, or fight me on every little thing?"

If it weren't for the years of experience dealing with Hongjoong, Seonghwa might have fallen into the same boat of irritation, frustrated at how his concerns were brushed aside, Hongjoong not listening to what he was saying. Years of experience had taught him that it was the exhaustion talking, mood swings a result of too little sleep, too little food, Hongjoong pushing himself in the name of work, in the name of creativity. It used to bother Seonghwa. Now, it served as a sign that he had been right to try to pull their leader away from his work and back home.

"I came here to make sure you were okay."

Hongjoong's gaze locked with his, neither of them backing down until Hongjoong gave a small huff, one hand scrubbing at his face again as he turned back towards the monitor, one hand coming to rest on the mouse. "I told you, I'm fine." His words weren't as harsh as the previous ones, something tired replacing the bulk of the frustrations. "I'm just stuck on where to go with this track. I want to get it finished before the next meeting about our comeback."

Seonghwa finally stepped farther into Hongjoong's space, using the moment of shock and confusion to pick Hongjoong's hands up into his own, pulling at his hands until Hongjoong turned in his chair and they were facing each other once more. "Take a break. It doesn't sound like you're getting much done now. We can get something to eat, go back to the dorm, get some rest, and tomorrow we'll figure out your song. Sound good?"

The look Hongjoong gave him- skeptical and calculating, weighing Seonghwa's words against his intentions, trying to find where ulterior motives lay- did nothing to deter him, Seonghwa keeping his gaze locked with Hongjoong's. Seonghwa's hands lifted, settling against Hongjoong's cheeks, tilting his head up to get a better look at his face. "I know you know how to take care of yourself, I'm not saying you don't, but please, Hongjoong. Take a step back for now. For me."

Their eyes remained locked until Hongjoong heaved a sigh, the fight leaving the line of his shoulders as his gaze dropped and he sunk into Seonghwa's hands. He leaned forward until the hands that had been pressed on either side of his face ran along his neck and then his back, one hand pushing the hood of his sweater back and sliding through his hair as his forehead met Seonghwa's stomach. "Fine. A step back, but you're paying for dinner." 

He didn't sound too happy, but Seonghwa didn't need Hongjoong happy in order to get some rest. Hands continued to stroke through his hair, Hongjoong loosely clutching at the back of Seonghwa's shirt. They stayed like that for a couple minutes, Hongjoong soaking up what attention Seonghwa gave him in silence while Seonghwa kept a rhythmic pace with his touches, gentle and searching, working the spots that had more and more tension draining from Hongjoong's body until he was putty being held up by willpower alone.

A smile tugged at Seonghwa's lips, a soft hum rumbling in his chest as his hands settled on Hongjoong's cheeks again, holding him up while Seonghwa took a step back. There was no mistaking the noise of displeasure Hongjoong made, brows furrowed as he cracked open his eyes and tracked Seonghwa's every movement as he grabbed the near by bag and began packing what would be needed for their trip back to the dorms. Laptop, headphones, scattered papers that contained notes he had jotted down while away from his computer. He even began collecting the emptied bags and bottles from snacks Hongjoong had no doubt squirreled away for occasions such as the one he found himself in.

"Do you have to do that now?" It came out as a whine, the beginnings of a pout on Hongjoong's face as he wrapped his arms around himself.

"Will you do it later?"

The hesitation that followed before Hongjoong pulled his legs up and curled into his chair said everything Seonghwa needed to know, keeping his cleaning spree going until the basics were at least taken care of. A more thorough clean could come later when the two of them were back in the studio the next day. It didn't take long for the room to be clean enough for Seonghwa's standards, turning back towards the chair while shouldering Hongjoong's backpack. "Ready?" He was met with a look that could be easily described as puppy dog eyes, Hongjoong not moving from the chair. Seonghwa smiled, hiding his amusement behind a raise of his brows. "You know I can't carry you."

Cheeks puffed in a pout, words grumbled as Hongjoong curled farther into the chair. "Then what good are you?"

"I can call Yunho here."

Though Yunho had a different way of going about it, he was a natural worrier like Seonghwa was, with the size and strength to back up being able to toss Hongjoong over a shoulder and the perfect puppy dog eyes that had everyone unable to say no to him. He was a threat that Seonghwa had taken advantage of before, though he always hated to do it, partially guilty for dragging Yunho into his messes, partially sorry for everyone else they passed having to listen to Hongjoong's loud and unstoppable complaining. 

There was a moment where Hongjoong weighed the threat, Seonghwa able to see the gears spinning and thoughts flowing, before he heaved a sigh, slowly uncurling himself and rising from the chair. He ended up leaning against Seonghwa's side, fingers pinching at the cuff of Seonghwa's jacket, soaking up what warmth and comfort he could. There wasn't much talking as Seonghwa contacted their manager, as they got into the car, and there definitely wasn't much conversation when they stopped to pick up food, Hongjoong picking at his order as if he knew Seonghwa would call him out on not eating. They stayed as close as possible during the drive to the dorms, arms brushing against each other, Hongjoong leaning a bit of his weight against the other, even if they didn't exchange many glances.

It was fine. It was comfortable. It was them.

Getting dropped off at the dorms was a quick affair, Seonghwa giving their manager a quick thanks and a wave. Hongjoong leaned heavily against him the entire trek to their dorm, fingers curling around his wrist, halfway to holding his hand, as if Hongjoong didn't want to commit to the full gesture. 

No one else was home yet, caught up in their own practices and work, making it easy for them to make their way to their shared room. The only thing that stopped Hongjoong from immediately throwing himself face down onto the bed was Seonghwa's hand around his wrist, drawing him into the middle of the room. Hongjoong gave a whine, the sound tapering off into a pout, the bags under his eyes tinting the look "I thought you wanted me to sleep."

All Seonghwa did was raise a brow, silent yet questioning in the look he gave the other, hands dropping to give a gentle tug on the hem of Hongjoong's shirt. It wasn't that Seonghwa was going back on his words, keeping Hongjoong from the bed and a sleep he knew the other needed, but there was some part of him that couldn't let Hongjoong anywhere near the bed with an intent to sleep while he was still wearing his street clothes. It seemed Hongjoong caught on, judging from the way his gaze dropped, blinking at his shirt before he gave a sigh, lifting his arms so Seonghwa could pull it off of him.

Hongjoong didn't question the shirt he was handed, not until he slipped into it, the fabric hanging from his shoulders, exposing his collar bones and swarming past his hips. "Wait, this is yours."

"It is." 

"You're not slick."

"Maybe." His hands dropped, working at the button of Hongjoong's pants, tugging them as far down as he could without bending. Hongjoong's hands settled on his shoulders, helping keep his balance as he shimmied the rest of the way out of them. 

"You know, I can do this myself."

"I know." Seonghwa knew Hongjoong wasn't annoyed with him. The words were spoken easily enough, no hint of irritation lacing them. It was usual banter between them, both used to the words, the tones they were spoken in, the teasing that might accompany it. Hongjoong was well aware that being able to do things for others was a way Seonghwa showed he cared, a way to show someone was important to him. Just as Seonghwa was aware that Hongjoong had a harder time expressing himself, the banter his own show of affection. "You're welcome."

Hongjoong slipped his way into sweatpants Seonghwa handed him, the waistband sitting snug on his waist and bottoms not covering his feet like he expected them to. Hongjoong watched in mild amusement as Seonghwa made an almost dramatic show of changing into his own sleep clothes, gathering what was piled on the floor and depositing it into the hamper. It was a small miracle in itself when he turned back around and Hongjoong was still waiting in the middle of the room, one brow raised, a teasing smile curling his lips, waiting with his arms crossed over his chest.

Seonghwa gave a small roll of his eyes, snagging Hongjoong's hand as he passed by on his way to the bed. He crawled in first, pulling the blankets back and wiggling his way closer to the wall, tugging Hongjoong in after him. It didn't take them long to get settled, Hongjoong's back to Seonghwa's chest, an arm curled over their leader's chest, keeping Hongjoong pressed close. In the span of time it took Seonghwa to send a message to the group chat threatening whoever disturbed Hongjoong's rest with a week of dish duty, their leader had nodded off, and not for the first time Seonghwa was a little envious of how it seemed Hongjoong could fall asleep anywhere at the drop of a hat.

He pressed his lips to the top of Hongjoong's head, letting them linger for a moment, smile settling across his face as Seonghwa sunk into the comfort.

"Goodnight, Hongjoong."

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this little drabble, feel free to check out my [twitter](http://twitter.com/waterclrsannie) for writing updates and general yelling, or drop comments and questions over at my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/watercolorsannie).


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